carpe diem
by arthurianlover
Summary: After a phone call with his best friend, Arthur, about his Controlling girlfriend leads Merlin to have a car accident in the dead of a winter storm, Merlin is left with burns and paralyzed from the waist down with no hope of rehabilitation. On his mum's dead whishes, goes to live with the Pendragons. Will Merlin's state have Arthur redefine his whole life and love itself? Review
1. going over the gate

It was a town of red brick or of brick that would have been red if the snowfall and arctic winds had allowed it; but as matters stood, it was a town of unnatural icy blue and polar white like the painted face of a biohazard warzone. It was a town of little store front shops and little town homes cuddled together, out of which interminable serpents of smoke trailed themselves for ever and ever, and never got uncoiled out of stone smoke stakes and people bustled in and out of the shops going about their day. Of course, with the snow storm two days before the little Hamlet was blank of any of the natural hubbub on the brick line streets. Camelot had a black canal in it, and a river that ran fast and full into a damn. The homes were full of windows where there was a candle lit all day long giving the presence of an angelic glow, and panes sometimes rattled and rumbled as a black train ran down the track at the North side of town. The piston of the steam-engine worked monotonously up and down, like the head of an elephant in a state of melancholy madness. It contained several large streets all very like one another, and many small streets still more like one another, these of course had been packed with snow curb to curb but were finally a manageable to drive on. The town of Camelot was inhabited by people equally as different from one another. They, who ran the bakery, the little thrift store, the little book store on CandleMass Street, the one room library, the pristine school, and the owner of the various homes and other well to do business were huddled in their homes staying out the cold.

Except one individual: Merlin Emrys. Of middle height and weight of that of a very slim tree, the eighteen year old pulled open his door with a steam of cold breath and promises made to the door to repaint it once summer peeked its head out if the door would open for him, Merlin finally got the door to give way enough for him to slip out and onto his front porch. A cold wind sliced through his hair and slapped his face red as he breathed in cold shocking air. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his red stock cap and pulled it onto his raven haired head. He quickly jogged to his Green '97 Honda SUV and dug his keys from his other coat pocket. He sighed in annoyance as he dropped the keys into the snow with his fumbling gloved hands. Squatting down he picked the keys out of a tiny snow drift and finally was able to unlock the car door and ward of the some of the coldness. He turned on the car and revved the engine praying for the car to heat up. It was almost two weeks before Christmas and he still had to do the rest of his shopping. The Snow storm had pushed his shopping day back and this was the only day he had left to do it before he went back to school before break.

He took out his IPhone and unlocked the screen. He felt a smile tug on his lips as he pulled up the oh so familiar name and went to go push the call button but his fingers froze over the words CALL. His stomach rolled over onto itself and his smile turned into a grimace as the sweat of anxiety began to show up on his forehead. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

_You are being absurd, now. _He chided himself and with a deep breath pushed the button and heard the ringing on the other end. It lasted a few seconds longer then he had expected and his stomach began its tempest storm once more. He was about to disconnect the call when the other end stopped mid-ring and a voice was heard on the other end of the cellular line.

"What?" the voice answered without any salutation at all noted. The man on the other end seemed distracted almost at something or someone, Merlin took noticed with a most unpleasant feeling, as their voice was grating and their speech was almost heavy.

"Hey, Arthur, are we still on for tonight?" Merlin asked and bit his lip in the left hand corner something he did when nervous- something he had been doing a lot lately around Arthur. He sat there for what felt like an eternity but was; in reality, only two minutes before his best friend replied.

"No. At Mary's, "he said with a clipped tone and then, almost as an afterthought he said, "Sorry."

"But, "Merlin started to say. _You promised. _He wanted to say it so bad. He felt his body go numb, or at least it felt like it did from foot to head. He felt his heart, such a vital organ, go tight as if clutched in a fist. Merlin licked his lips and ballad his fist into his seat. He saw snowflakes coming down but paid little heed to them. "Maybe tomorrow we may go the mall or-"

From the back ground he heard a giggle, a girl's, "Come on Arthur I've kept the bed warm for you. Tell that cocksuker to go away." Another laugh.

Merlin could feel the blood rushing to his face and bile crawl up his throat like a monster with claws. "Arthur..."

_Tell her to go away. Tell her Arthur. _

"Why are you dating someone like her, Arthur?" Merlin whispered and tried to stop the tears from over flooding his eyes. "She's a bitch."

"That's my girlfriend you are talking about Merlin, Shut your fucken mouth. Look, go to the mall or whatever. Bye."

The line disconnected.

Merlin started the car, tears streaming down his face as he threw the phone down. He slammed the gear in drive and took off. His wheels spun in the snow. Taking off down the main road he paid little attention to his driving or the conditions as they seemed to get worse all of a sudden as freezing rain began to pour down from the heavens. He wiped his eyes as they too began raining. His best friend, Arthur, was such an ass. Merlin felt like he had been shot and ripped in half. He choked on a sob and shook his head. It hurt oh so much worse before she had been raised over him and Merlin pushed aside like some children's doll. And to think he was in love with the fool.

That only made the hurt a thousand times more damaging.

Merlin felt all of a sudden his back wheels began to glide side to side and it was then he took notice of the fresh ice on the ground. He cursed, trying to get his car back under control. In a few breaths it seemed he had it underhand. He gave a laugh, and looked at the railing on the side of the road, leading down into the valley, from the corner of his eye. He began to steer the car over to the curb, but then he noticed his breaks were stuck. He tried them again, but his car would not slow down. The cold must had frozen them solid! Before Merlin could even think what do to his car began sliding again and this time the momentum shot him forward.

The car swerved again in the opposite direction. Merlin banged against the door, his head clashing with the window. The car swerved for a third time ending with a crash.

The CRV ploughed through the guard-rail and fell a good ten onto the rocks below.

Its front end crumpled with the force of impact thrusting two-foot of metal back into the car. The windshield imploded, showering the insides with deadly slivers of glass. Both the driving wheel and dashboard compacted into one mangled mess. The rear side passenger door was savagely torn free from its hinges and the front two wheels were sent spinning out into the night. Merlin's yell was cut short as the glass imbedded into his skin. He was aware of the blood dripping down his face. Funny enough he thought how the blood would stain his light brown shirt.

The metal of the car groaned like the final cry of some wounded beast and it shuddered once then fell slowly onto its side. After that all was silent for a while. Like a person holding their breath.

Merlin knew he was lucky to be alive. The drop alone should have liquefied his insides; the gas could have exploded! His face pressed into an airbag, still strapped firmly into the driver's seat with nothing worse than cuts and scrapes to show from the fall.

It was then the teen began could smell smoke; an oily taste hung in the air. He grappled with the airbag and managed to push it to one side. The dust made him cough and caked onto his hands. The car was filling with dark fumes that burnt his throat and caused his eyes to water.

He wasted precious seconds struggling with the door handle before in his shocked state he realized that the car lay on its side, pinning the door against the ground. Merlin let out a whimper. It was then he also looked down and realized his legs were crushed between the driving counsel and his seat.

The engine caught fire; small flickers of yellow flame appeared from between the twisted metal.

He began to cough from the smoke inhalation, each lung full now burning at his insides, his eyes were red raw and both streamed uncontrollably as he fumbled with the belt.

A rush of hot air and the fire spread to engulf the roof of the car. At once the heat became intolerable…


	2. druged awake in burning haven

Just one more minute, Merlin thought as he began to feel the sunlight trying to penetrate his closed eyelids.

_I must have stayed up too late again. These test really are going to kill me..._

He tried to roll over in his bed away from his window and burrow down more into his feathered pillow. The bed felt like a nest and he was the baby chick, wrapping its warm sheets around Merlin, burying him in warm, fuzzy darkness. He was safe.

_I'll get up. Just one more minute. Just one more…_

With every passing moment his sleepy and very drogue mind reluctantly noticed something outlandish: How the sheets feel thin and stiff, how his body aches when he tried to move. How his throat burns, dry as a desert. And that noise, and steady, pulsing _beep_, knocking at his minds door, like a silly clock alarm, refusing to be ignored.

Merlin slowly pried up his eyes and groaned and closed them again. The room was much too bright and he closed them again on instinct. He drew a deep breath and found it odd as if something was keeping in from gulping the sweet clean air in big amount. He reopened his eyes and wiped away the sand. He frowned as his hands felt crackle and tender much like very over dry skin.

The room looks cold, impersonal, with its eggshell walls and its bland color, clean furniture. Everything is clean. Too clean. And too cold. Everything looks like it is unpersonal. Merlin swallowed.

_This is not my room. This is not my room! What the hell…_

There are machines all around merlin. They are just as clean and impersonal as the rest of the room, but at least they show signs of life: numbers running across a screen, a line jolting up and down and that beeping, that beeping that just won't stop. They were whining, humming, beeping, chiming as if they were trying to conduct some orchestrated procession.

Merlin tried to get up, but his limbs, his lower half, just won't obey, so he just saged back into bed. _Why am I here?_ My brain is sluggish and slow, but awake enough to know he is in a hospital.

Merlin hears in the distant, almost like on a TV, but there was not one to be found in the cold room, a crash like sound and glass shattering. He seem himself yelling as the car drops and drops and then he recalls the heat...

A man, thin and with a graying hair line, enters the room then with hurried steps, striding straight towards mrlin. He has a clipboard in one hand and a concerned, yet hopeful look on his face. He stops at Merlin's bed side. His voice is deep but caries a softness to it.

"You're awake! Welcome back, Mr. Merlin, you've been in a coma for about almost a week."

"Coma? No. I was just... No."

Merlin feels his chest tighten and he begins to breathe heavily. The Doctor hands Merlin a glass and tell him to drink it slowly. Merlin obliges but upon seeing his hand he drops the glass. His hand was not the pale healthy color he once knew, albeit it was still there but in patches mixed in with a red almost black looking skin. Merlin choked back a scream. The Doctor, Allen from his name tag, puts his hands on Merlin's shoulders and shushes him and orderes him to take deep breathes. When Merlin had calmed he sat at Merlin's foot and looked him in the eyes.

"Do you recall anything before today, Merlin...?"

Merlin blinked and looked at his hands and at the blanket covering him and wondered what he looked like under there. "I was in my car," he whispered.

Allen nodded, "Yes, you were in a car crash. You had skidded on some ice and lost control. You went over the side and your car rolled down the edge of the small cliff by your home. When the rescue team found you, your car was on fire and your legs were pinned against the dash and your seat. "The doctor paused then said with a shake of his head, "it is a miracle you survived a few seconds when you were free your car exploded when the fire reached your gas tank. You were brought back here and been closely monitored."

Merlin let this all sink in. He felt nothing but a numb feeling all over and his head fuzzy and spinning with a thousand of thoughts. "What is all wrong with me…"

The doctor reached into his white folder and handed a document to Merlin. Merlin, after some help from Allen, was able to sit up enough to read it. The doctor explained the chart, "You have burns all over your arms, hands, and torso area. They are not serious but they will need watching and some medicine applied regularly. Your bottom half from you waist down was pinned against the dash and your seat. As of right now you have no control over that half of your body. You cannot walk, mover your toes, sit up on your own, etc. Now, that being said, "he pointed to an x-ray attached to the file and Merlin looked at it blankly feeling more numbed by the second, "I do strongly believe you will recover. As you can see from the bones and some of this tissue right here I was able to reconstruct somewhat during the surgery you had when you first came in. I think if you go to therapy and work at it and keep regular appalments I will be able to get you back to normal. "

All Merlin could do is nod. Allen sighed, "Son, I know this is life shattering news but you will be ok. I feel a strongest within you and that is one reason I believe you are alive right now. I need you to say you will work with me. It will be long and hard but I think we can do it."

"I will try, sir."

"Good," because I am not the only one to think you can do it, "Allen said and nodded over to the table filled with cards and flowers and stuff animals.

Merlin picked some up and looked through them. A card from Gwen, a stuff bear from Leon, a book from Morgana, and so on and so on from all his classmates and other people he knew. But their was one person whom he did not see.

_I had a fight with Arthur right before I crashed…_

Merlin felt tears spring into his eyes and he blinked them away. As he had been looking through his presents a nurse had come in to check his vitals and Allen explain how the rest of the stay would work. He would stay for a few more days maybe even a week it would depend on his burns and his legs. He would then go home and come back for therapy at the therapy building on North Grand Ave. Merlin put down a card and looked at his Doctor and tried to fight back a queasy feeling.

"Doctor Allen…I live alone. My mother passed away a year ago and my uncle is in the states and is not due back for another month or so…"

"I know Merlin, we have contacted your uncle Guias and he plans to be here in a week or two. Untill then…" Allen crossed his arms, "Were you aware your mother left in her will instruction of what should happen if you are not able to care for yourself…"

"Yes. But..."

"Then you know you will be staying with the Pendragon Family?"

Merlin saw red in his vison and wanted to growl. He did not want to be in ten foot of Arthur! Not after this and especially since that girl…

"Yes, sir. Only you see me and Arthur have not been on the best of terms and I do not think it best if…"

"Arthur, the young man, has come to see you once or twice, son. He did not stay long but asked some question from time to time. And as it was your mother's wishes and you are not of age you will need to go and live with them."

As the doctor left with a promise to return soon, Merlin picked up a piece of paper and threw it across the room. He hissed as it pulled on one of the scabs of his burns and he held his arm. Damn, he couldn't even get mad at Arthur because he was too damn hurt. He sighed. "What does he think he can just offer me his home and visit once or twice and all be forgiven? Ass hole."

Merlin burrowed down in his blankets once again, this time his heart hurting more than the rest of his body. "If he would have just gone to the mall with me…if he had just told her off...instead he told me to go..."

**I am posting this today instead of Sunday because me weekend is going to be very busy and I did not want to let you all down!**

**Thanks for all the reviews and Alerts. **

**Please review. **


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